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Those Funny Political Ads: Who Can Help Me Find My $20 Bill?

by: Rep. Jim Splaine

Mon Aug 23, 2010 at 20:42:52 PM EDT


(Oops - meant to promote this yesterday. - promoted by Dean Barker)

What IS it with election time that brings out the worst in politicians?  What is it that we want to sound either so fluffy and puffy that we don't say anything that we believe, or we want to appeal to the lowest common denominator so we take "positions" and use "buzz words" that our pollsters say we should emphasize in order to get votes?  

Bill Binnie, who if you don't have a television or a Republican mailbox you might not know is running for United States Senate, is saying don't believe the facts about his business career which indicate that he has found a step-by-step way to become wealthy in the global market:  1, move your businesses over the border, 2, pay less for less, 3, and since you don't have to deal with big bad unions or pay those horrible American wages, you can increase your profit margin on what you sell and make more money.  Then you can pay for full page ads calling The Union Leader unfactual in reporting the facts.  Follow all that?  It's Binnie Business 101, and he's trying to get permission to offer a startup class beginning in January.  

Then there's this former Manchester mayor guy, who explains that he just forgot his $250,000 bank account.  Yep, I understand.  But for me, if I misplace a $20 bill I fret about it all day.  Was it in that pocket, or this one, or did I leave it in that draw, or in my glove compartment?  I guess though if you've got a lot of money and don't live paycheck to paycheck like regular folk, you can misplace and forget about a quarter of a mill.  I'm still looking for that $20.  If I see the mayor dude I'll ask where his favorite hiding spots are, and that might give me a clue where to look.

Rep. Jim Splaine :: Those Funny Political Ads: Who Can Help Me Find My $20 Bill?
But the real cake or pudding or apple sauce or whatever (it must be close to dinner time as I write this) goes to Sean Mahoney, who wants Carol Shea-Porter's seat in Congress so much he must be having dreams about it.  He's come up with a radio ad that promises, among other gold-bars-in-every-household messages, that he will build an "impenetrable" border to keep all those attacking aliens out.  

They needed him at the Alamo about 175 years ago.  Just what kind of "wall" does he intend to build?  Maybe one about 50 feet high, 10 feet thick, with armed guards every 100 feet or so?  If so, perhaps some of the architects of the Berlin Wall are still around who can assist him in the design.  Oh oh, but unlike Berlin we have water to worry about too, so he'll have to come up with netting that can extend into the Pacific.  He'll have to deploy lots of those Cruise missiles stationed all along our border ready to shoot down little planes.  Maybe he can come up with a new kind of ground sonar so he can make sure no one goes underground.  After all, those scary monsters in Tremors did exactly that.  I mean, he did promise "impenetrable," and we all know Republicans keep their promises. And no one asked him yet, but I suppose he means the Canadian boarder too?  

Around election time, politicians and their adsters and other consultants like to come up with anything they think the voters will believe.  That must be their motto:  "As long as you can fool some of the people some of the time, it's worth saying."

It is Yard Sale time in September and October, but I think New Hampshire residents know a real good deal when they see one, versus something that isn't worth a dime on the dollar.    

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Yeah, I caught that radio spot (0.00 / 0)
out of the corner of my ear yesterday.  One of the blogs I read, probably Balloon Juice, calls this kind of behavior a measuring-a-particular-part-of-the-male-anatomy-for-length contest, to paraphrase.  Puts Kelly at a bit of a disadvantage?

Clearly a typo (0.00 / 0)
He meant to say he supports an implausible wall.

Only the left protects anyone's rights.


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