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A Thank You For Marriage Equality -- From Jim & Darryl

by: Rep. Jim Splaine

Wed Dec 30, 2009 at 21:51:16 PM EST


(I think this major accomplishment stands out as one of the best things that happened in NH in 2009. - Mike Hoefer - promoted by Dean Barker)

Beginning on New Year's Day, January 1, 2010, at 12:01 AM, New Hampshire will have marriage equality within our laws for all of our citizens.    I have expressed my thanks in the past months to so many people in and out of government who have made that day possible.  At the moment that House Bill 436 becomes effective, it will have been the result of twenty, even thirty years of advocacy for equality by many people throughout New Hampshire -- thousands of people, some whom are no longer with us except in spirit -- who have brought us to this point.  And as we all know, work still needs to be done.

Writers and bloggers on www.BlueHampshire.com contributed greatly to the success of HB 436.  On the dark days when the votes were too close, or when the bill stumbled, BlueHampshire hampsters came to the front.  Beginning on March 18th, we had 14 core votes on the bill in the House and Senate:  an initial House Judiciary Committee vote of 10-10, a House floor defeat a week later of 182-183, followed minutes later by a victory of 186-179, then a Senate Judiciary Committee vote of 2-3, followed by a Senate floor vote of 13-11, and numerous other close votes followed on related "religious protection" bills.  But we won despite our opponents putting up every parliamentary roadblock they could think of.  On this issue, every supporter made a difference along the way.   There are many heroes of marriage equality.

I do try to keep my Blogposts non-personal -- but on a personal note, although I haven't talked about him much in recent years except to a few people, I've been thinking a lot during the past few weeks about my longtime partner, Darryl.  He died after an auto accident two days after our 10th Anniversary.  It was quite some years ago, so the good memories remain.  

I'm pretty good at visualization, so I felt that Darryl was next to me when I was standing behind Governor John Lynch as he signed HB 437, the Civil Unions bill, on May 31, 2007.  And I also felt Darryl standing with us as the Governor signed HB 436, marriage equality, on June 3rd of this year.  He had a wonderful smile that day.

I'm fighting off a cold right now, but at the moment I'm hoping to be at the State House on New Year's Eve.  Wherever I am at that minute just past midnight, or if I'm there in the audience looking up at the ceremonies of several couples being married, in my mind Darryl will be there with me.  We'll be holding hands.  I know we would have been among the first to be married if he was still here -- we often joked that we were married long before it seemed possible.  We'll be together again eventually, but that moment of 01/01/10 - 12:01 AM will bring a special smile to me.  

And for that, I offer a very special thank you to everyone who helped make this possible -- for the dialogue, for the passage of marriage equality, and for your acceptance.

So I sign this as a Thank You -- From Jim & Darryl.  A Thank You Very Much.  

Rep. Jim Splaine :: A Thank You For Marriage Equality -- From Jim & Darryl
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This is wonderful. (4.00 / 1)
Thank you, Jim!  Yours will be the name in the history books on this one, and rightly so.

It's interesting your mentioning those not here.  I myself these past few days have been thinking a lot about my high school friends who had to endure the isolation and pain of a pretty rampantly homophobic social environment at school.

From the darkness of those days, what a new world begins on 1/1/2010.  I'm just glad I'm around to witness it.



birch, finch, beech


Don't mean to be a "debbie downer," but the haters and (0.00 / 0)
deprivators will always find some irrelevant characteristic in the object of their animus to excuse their anti-social behavior.  It's good not to have their antagonisms reflected in the law.  However, as the rates at which women/wives are murdered and children are violated and abused tell us, those who would deprive others of life and limb need to be overtly restrained.
The negation of the negative does not automatically result in a positive.  Making racial segregation illegal did not produce an integrated society; the segregationists merely hit on another criterion (money), which turned out to be not only easier to manipulate, but, because of the appearance of objectivity, more effective.  
That the same people who were excluded before on the basis of gender and race are being excluded on the basis of poverty now is not a happenstance.

That homosexuals seem to be subject somewhat less to financial exploitation may be evidence of the fact that financial deprivation is merely one element in the effort to exert personal domination.  So, if there's no interest in domination, financial autonomy isn't as likely to be challenged.

In any case, what should concern us is the behavior of perpetrators of deprivation.  By focusing on the effect on their victims, we let them get away with their nasty behavior.  There is no legitimacy to the effort to deny what are essentially positive, socially supportive behaviors.  

It is beyond mean-spirited to deny others what one doesn't even want for oneself.  That there is institutional support for mean-spirited behavior doesn't lessen the nastiness.


Jim makes (4.00 / 2)
Andrew Sullivan's QOTD.

birch, finch, beech


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