Last Friday, a bunch of folks I used to work with held a reunion in Nashua, about 60 miles from my home. I couldn't afford to go, and I didn't want to hang out with this elite team, all of whom are currently employed. I'm the only one on the dole.
On Sunday I saw a major motion picture. One of the actors looked strangely familiar, but I couldn't place him. The credits ran and there was the name of a guy who went to the same prep school I went to. This guy, who used to knock me around on the football field (he was a senior, I was a freshman), was one of the stars of this blockbuster.
On Wednesday, as I watched President Obama leave the chamber after his State of the Union speech, a photographer, right behind him, caught my eye. A quick Google confirmed that this was a guy from one of my college photojournalism classes made good.
Around every corner there's someone from my past, making a go of it, doing stuff I have only dreamed of doing. After 12 months of rejection letters or, worse, unanswered job applications, these coincidences begin to sting. Will I reach a point where my self confidence evaporates? I fear waking up one day to find that I consider myself worthless. Is there some innate flaw within me that screams its presence to all the world, but I can't see?
These successful friends of mine have the gumption and spirit and luck to succeed in lean times. I'm merely average. Okay, I can live with that. But nowadays merely average doesn't cut it, never mind that most of us are. I thought "the system" was designed so that us average folks could at least make a living, pay our bills, and send our kids to college.
But the system began to fail average folks like me, so enough of us, looking for Hope and Change, voted for Obama.
Now, a year after Obama took office, I think about the Hope and Change I voted for and haven't seen yet.
I know it's a hard thing to turn around this creaking ship of state after a 30-year journey into unregulated gilded age free market capitalism. I know it takes more than the President speaking from his bully pulpit to change things, especially when there's a bunch of Republicans who have made it their mission to hamstring President Obama and obstruct him at every turn. But good golly, the capitalists who work for banks that received government bailout money are pulling down bonuses that would have been considered generous BEFORE the crash and I can't get a stinking interview, never mind a job. Something is out of whack.
There used to be something called a career path. You'd start out in a field of endeavor just out of college, you'd work hard and keep up your skills, and you could reliably count on slow but steady incremental advancement.
Then times get tough, you get laid off, and the path disappears. Suddenly, there's no work at your career level. So you suck it up and apply for an entry-level job in your field, or an administrative assistant job, or a dishwasher job, or parking garage attendant job, because you have to work.
When an employer looks at your resume with ten years of work history, they say "This guy's been on the career path and he'll come in with an attitude and a half." They don't want old guys like me who've been in white collar jobs for decades, or so it seems, because for all the entry level, administrative assistant, dishwasher, and parking attendant jobs I've applied for, I've only been called in twice for an interview.
I got one offer, $8.25 an hour, 25 hours a week, and I was all set to take it. Problem is, my wife and I had already committed to have my mother-in-law move in with us. Darling wife says to me "Dan'l, this won't work. You'll make $8.25 an hour and we'll have to spend at least $12 an hour to care for Mom while you're working. It doesn't add up."
For the eight years of W's reign, I groaned "When will this nightmare end?" And now, one year into the era of hope and change, I'm still groaning "When will this nightmare end?"
Wednesday night, sitting in front of the TV, I watched as the President told me how it's going to get better. He told me "I will not accept second place for the United States of America." (Hearing this line, I imagined hordes of Americans, sitting in the bleachers, chanting "USA! USA! USA!" and "We're number one! We're number one!") But given the obstacles, I wonder if he can cajole and coerce the rest of the country to join with him.
Tongue firmly in cheek, again I say "Happy Anniversary."
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