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(A bit of cheerful satire, not directed at anyone here. Just some train doodling while procrastinating on what I was supposed to be doing.)
Cross-posted at Blue Mass Group. All examples are fictional.
1. No mention can be made of the mainstream media without a negative aside. Wolf Blitzer of CNN, aka the Challenged News Network, had this to say -
2. Candidates above a certain level must be criticized for playing the game too well. Obama's advance people are "advanced" alright, with their Gap-like headsets. Candidates below a certain level must be criticized for not playing it well enough. The "Browniebacks" tasted great, but where was the milk?
3. A campaign's receptiveness to bloggers is the surest sign of its virtue. Kucinich blew me off to talk to the lead political columnist from the Cleveland Plain Dealer. Well I checked, and only 25 people e-mailed his last column, whereas I've been averaging 92 hits a day. Time to reassess, Denny.
4. No matter how momentous and/or serious the event is, inject yourself into it. As Tancredo struggled through his withdrawal announcement, his wife and children wept openly. And I wondered what might have been. For one thing, I might have returned those Blockbuster DVDs on time.
5. Acronyms are the bomb (AATB). To hear the MSM tell it, HRC is a lock. But, IIRC, they've been wrong before, and IMHO, they're wrong again.
6. Each campaign represents not a person and his/her staff, but some sort of grand metaphor, aka a frame.
7. Gut feel outweighs all rational considerations when forming your opinion. Sure, Richardson has experience, but he's told me too many times, and I'm "experienced" out.
8. Nothing can be taken at face value. McCain's support of the war reflects either a complete disconnect with reality, or, more likely, a grand old pander to the Republican Party, a sort of blaring orchestral version of "Flight of the Valkyries."
9. Quotation marks are your friend. Senator "Clinton" announced a "policy" that I "didn't" "like."
10. Try not to present your entire argument; make the reader click your friend's blog too. As Toby observes and Julia comments, my "good friend" Sam will be eating crow a la mode.
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