Edwards for Obama

by: Andy Edwards

Fri Dec 21, 2007 at 21:29:53 PM EST

I felt it was the obvious choice because of his ideas and who he is as a person back when I started looking seriously again a month ago.  I often found myself rooting for him in all of the debates and at his defense in political discussions, whether it was with friends at school or here on Blue Hampshire. I've come to see, finally having time to reflect on it, that this decision has actually been in the making for a long time.

Taking a look back at (and inside) myself, I've realized that this was the inevitable conclusion to a story that I've kept in the back of my mind.  In acknowledging this decision, I am finally at peace. It was never a calculated, momentary decision but was instead, as you'll see, one that grew on me...

I arrived at my decision to endorse Barack Obama for the 2008 presidential nomination after serious consideration. The process started well over a year ago, before I even considered running for office. It began when I met Senator Russ Feingold, one of my idols, who at the time was considering a presidential bid.

Between Bush's inauguration and my introduction to the Daily Kos in 2004, my political beliefs underwent a steady transformation. After this, my principles were refined as I spent increasingly more time participating in this online democracy.  As a product of the progressive online community, I found myself extremely jaded with the American political system. But, I was also hopeful in the ability of citizens to organize and elevate those politicians who maintained their integrity - those who stood strong for their progressive principles. Russ Feingold fit this role perfectly for many of us and appeared poised to take this fight all the way to the top.

Fast-forward to a drizzly night in early November as Representative Jeff Fontas and I sat outside of the corner store he frequented as a child, taking in with our cigar smoke the euphoria of having just been chosen to represent the neighborhoods we grew up in. In the back of our minds were the countless other headlines which many of us remember vividly and which in many ways foreshadowed the creation of this very site. Though absent from my mind at the time, several days later I was reminded that 2007 would mark my first first-in-the-nation primary, to which I now had front-row seat:

Wisconsin Senator Russ Feingold said that he will not be seeking the presidential nomination. Feingold said, "I never got to that point where I'd rather be running around the country, running for president, than being a senator from Wisconsin. It would have required the craziest combination of things in the history of American politics to make it work."

Feingold lauded both Gore and Obama as potential candidates who were early critics of the war and said he thinks voters will be looking for a nominee who "had the judgment to understand (the war) was a bad idea from beginning. . . . I don't think it is asking a lot for people to see this was a stupid idea."

He added: "I will run if I want to run, regardless of who else is running. But I will tell you, seeing Barack Obama considering running gives me comfort. If I decided not to run, it makes me feel good, it makes me very happy to see him thinking about running. . . . If he came up to me and asked me, should he run . . . I might tell him, 'It's a good thing.' "

Russ's words undoubtedly carried a lot of weight with me, and perhaps had a lot to do with my initial exploration of Al Gore as a candidate. I won't elaborate on that because if people here know anything about me, it's that I was a rabid evangelist in "The Church of the Eventual Gore Candidacy" (h/t Mike) for the better part of 2007.

During this time however, there was another story playing out below the surface, rarely made visible for others to see...

My Barack Obama

My story with Barack Obama begins even further back, before I met Sen. Feingold or was even politically active. Coincidentally, I was with Jeff Fontas again, vacationing with his family on the Cape in the summer of 2004. We were watching the Democratic National Convention on TV and we had to see every minute of it. I don't remember exactly how this happened, but I somehow missed Barack's speech entirely. When everyone was talking about it the next day - and seemingly forever afterwards - I became a bit annoyed. And I never did see his speech. Now it's quite clear that I was pissed about having watched the whole show only to miss the best part, but at the time I rationalized that everyone sensationalized this Obama guy because he was a black politician with mainstream appeal.

This notion reared its ugly once again when I was unable to attend the NH Democratic victory celebration after the 2006 elections, where Sen. Obama packed the house last December.

And again, when he made his second visit to the state in February, I was skeptical about the reason why all my peers at UNH were in a mad dash for tickets to see him speak. My cynicism was weakened a bit as I encouraged those I knew at the university to try their best to attend, realizing that this presented a unique opportunity to get young voters engaged in the political process. However, when Barack came to Nashua later that day for his first house party, these feelings inside me were rattled and the storyline became a bit more complicated:

Beforehand, the press couldn't find anything else to talk about besides what a celebrity Obama seems to be - well it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.... In their endless mission to capture the public image of his campaign, they were essentially telling us why we like him. Because everyone's talking about him, they tell us.

I mean when I got asked a question by like four different reporters at once about "Why all the fuss about Obama?" (I felt like saying) good question, why don't you ask yourselves!

"Why are you college students so crazy for Obama?" I dunno, I just wanna see what the guy has to say!

Everything changed in that moment, although I didn't know it yet. In meeting the different candidates, I discovered that state representatives were the object of much more praise and attention than the average New Hampshire Primary voter. Never to that, and from none other since, did I hear words spoken that not only encouraged us and inspired us to do bigger and greater things, but made me feel like we were a part of something.

If I'd been familiar with Vonnegut then, I would have said to myself, "did I just find my karass?"

He even remembered us when he spoke afterwards, mentioning our recent election as the youngest rep's in the state in his short stump speech to help persuade the audience that something big is happening in America right now and that this next presidency could realize fundamental change.

I was never sure what to make of this message, which was being described by some as "fluff" and empty rhetoric. Not that I didn't agree wholeheartedly, but I was wary of the political establishment trying to co-opt the momentum of the progressive movement in the wake of the 2006 landslide.

In fact, as far as I can remember, in every cautious angle from which I've approached this man, my fears about him have ultimately been proven wrong.

In April, we met him again when he spoke at Keene State in front of a gigantic crowd. The night before, the Associated Press reported something from an interview with him earlier in the week which earned a sharp, front-page rebuke from Kos:

If President Bush vetoes an Iraq war spending bill as promised, Congress quickly will provide the money without the withdrawal timeline the White House objects to because no lawmaker "wants to play chicken with our troops," Sen. Barack Obama said Sunday.

What a ridiculous thing to say. Not only is it bad policy, not only is it bad politics, it's also a terrible negotiating approach.

I think that it's important for voters to get a sense of how the next president will make decisions in a foreign policy arena...
There are a number of senators who have acknowledged they got bad information or might have made a different decision. What I've tried to suggest is the speech I gave five months before we went to war shows how I think about the problem.

My expectation is that we will continue to try to ratchet up the pressure on the president to change course...
I don't think that we will see a majority of the Senate vote to cut off funding at this stage.

However, at that moment in time I was still overly optimistic, as much of the American public was. Going into Sen. Obama's event the following day in Keene, I wanted to see him challenged on this statement. The one mistake he made in this interview, invoking the frame of "playing chicken with our troops," I wanted him to repeat that night, and I wanted to nail him on it.

Well, I didn't get what I wanted...

I was waiting all night.. for the Iraq "veto" question.
I had a sour feeling in my stomach as he rehashed out essentially the same sentences we saw in the AP interview from this weekend. He did, however, leave out that one line about "Congress playing a game of chicken with the President", but I was worried that he didn't offer any explanation on whether or not his previous statement had changed or what he meant by it.

Dean, in the spirit of healthy democratic debate, provided the latest clarification from Obama:

U.S. Sen. Barack Obama says he has not softened his position on Iraq, despite suggestions to the contrary from other Presidential camps and liberal blogs.
The Democratic presidential candidate yesterday took issue with a weekend report suggesting that he believes that if President George Bush vetoes a withdrawal bill, Congress should quickly provide full funding for the war with no strings attached.

One thing he added tonight, at least an addition to the articles I've seen in the past couple days, was the idea of funding the war in 3-month increments. That would be real action - not a withdrawal date, but a clear sign that Bush wasn't just getting anything he asked for....

I think strategically you DO want to play chicken... But then maybe come to something like three month increments.

I think announcing the three month increments to start isn't even that smart, but this is one of the things I'm sitting on for a couple days before writing about it.

I went up to Concord with Jeff earlier than usual, without having a wink of sleep the night before, and proceeded to load up on coffee in the State Library while anxiously awaiting Sen. Obama's arrival for a private meeting with what turned out to be a fairly sizable group of state legislators. He came in and proceeded to dazzle the room (myself included) with how down to earth he was, connecting on a level that I figured only past-and-present state legislators could. He gave an exceptionally brief talk and instead spent a significant amount of time fielding questions. My hand wanted to go up, and I would've been called on if it had, but something inside me said it would've been in poor taste. So I waited until afterwards when he was working the room. He eventually made his way in our direction, having recognized us, and suggested we take a picture together.

It was clear from his demeanor that he wasn't expecting much of us in return. See, we'd spent a minute or two with him backstage the night before in Keene, joking around as he tried half-heartedly to wrest an early endorsement. He seemed a bit frustrated that young people could show so much interest yet remain so standoffish, but there in that dark, cement stairwell, he had no clue what was bouncing around inside my head.

The moment after the picture was snapped, he found out. His aides were calling on him to leave - the event had gone almost 15 minutes over - but I impressed upon him that I had a question he needed to answer.

He indulged, though his posture betraying a sense of wariness as he leaned in his ear to hear it.

"Do you support the Reid-Feingold bill... defunding the war?"

Before he even fully turned back towards me, I felt and saw something on his face change. It seemed like he had aged 10 years in a matter of seconds, and when he looked back at me I saw pain in his eyes. The corners of his mouth were drawn down, and his eyebrows and cheekbones had fallen to reveal an expression more grave than anything I'd seen before in my life.

In the intervening moment, which still stands in my memory as an eternity, his eyes pierced deep inside me, but the look was not one of intimidation. I felt like I'd unlocked an internal struggle, one that had undoubtedly been wearing down on his mind the night before, but one that left him alone most of the time on campaign trail.

"I haven't read it yet" he replied, with pain deep in his eyes.

His reverence and solemnity was palpable and understood that I was looking at a man who took this decision very seriously, rejecting caustic rhetoric in place of an arduous process of consideration and complicated choices. And that's exactly what he continued to do until weeks later he walked out onto the Senate floor and cast his vote in favor of Reid-Feingold, amid intense pressure and scrutiny (his leadership spoke for itself as a moment later Sen. Clinton came in and followed suit).

His gaze lingered as he turned to leave us, and I almost had to look away. His exit from the room seemed hurried after this, and I began to regret the exchange, lest I'd put him in a bad mood. But then I decided that it was for the best.
Our next president has to be able to make many tough decisions every day without letting one bad experience cloud their performance elsewhere, and at the end of the day square with the American people.

I was a changed person after this. I'd never in my life seen a politician, especially at that level, register emotion with something I've said to them. He doesn't wear an impenetrable mail that ordinary people cannot breach. When someone speaks, he listens, and when someone says something real, it affects his heart - he lets people "get" to him.

This weighed down on my heart too, and wore away at my animus:

Reid/Feingold.... I asked the Senator this morning about his thoughts on the plan and he said that he had not read it yet.

I will give him a lot of credit, he's been busting his ass these past few days and clearly has not had much free time. However, the bill is pretty short and sweet...

I hadn't been willing to give him an inch before, as thousands of us were whipped up in an online frenzy, incapable of treating him like a human being but rather as idea that existed somewhere far away.

And that has been a recurring thread in my story, with each of these intersections of the abstract and the actual Barack Obama. Meeting him in real life has forced me to confront many preconceptions I've developed that serve to dehumanize the political process.

I've learned a lot about how he thinks, feels, and acts - how he makes decisions. I've learned that I can take him at his word when he says he does things differently than what people are used to out of Washington, D.C. He doesn't always go for the easy answer, he isn't afraid of telling you something you don't want to hear - he's going to tell you the truth.

He wasn't afraid in 2002 when he spoke out against invading Iraq, as our national political leaders rushed to war. Similarly, he stayed true to his principles when he made an honest assessment of an extremely difficult decision -- one he had no role in starting but was still responsible for fixing -- and spoke openly and candidly about the reality of the situation.

He doesn't talk about problems in terms of demagogic or sensational rhetoric. He approaches problems objectively, open-minded but with a thought process derived from steadfast democratic principles. He believes that we should never sacrifice our principles, and that includes when they are challenged from our side as well. He is always going to listen to what each person has to say, and will consider the different perspectives before making the best decision - a search for truth, in complete transparency.

These are the themes that define this man for me: truth and reason. These are both central to Gore's book, The Assault on Reason, which convinced me that 2008 is going to be one of the most definitive moments in the history of the republic and the world, in more ways than one.

When Barack Obama talks about transparency, his support for net neutrality, and the ability of the internet and technology to create revolutionary reforms in open government, I know he gets it.

When Barack Obama talks about the way that he thinks, and lays out his policies and positions in a way that evidences how he arrived at these conclusions by way of reason, it gives me comfort.

I finally felt that comfort that Russ described, sitting on the stage behind Barack on Wednesday night as he spoke to an auditorium packed with undecided Nashua voters. As he narrated through his stump speech I found the applause came in at awkward times. I realized, he wasn't giving a rallying speech, he was describing to us how he thinks about these issues and how he has arrived at the solutions - showing us his thoughts there, on stage, in real-time.

This is why Barack Obama will make the best President. Our political process has become so corrupted and our electorate so cynical that no one believes anything that candidates say anymore...
...When they try to stir up a crowd, you have to ask yourself, "are we being manipulated?"
...When you hear a promise that sounds too good, you are caught wondering, "can they really deliver on this?"

When Barack Obama tells you what he wants to do as President, he lets you get inside his head.

After judging the man's character, you may not agree with 100% of what he proposes, but you can be sure that it will develop with care and reason, bringing in the best information and diverse viewpoints possible, and carried out successfully because Sen. Obama has a record of bringing people together and getting things done.