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Dover, Delaware (FNS)-Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell shocked the crowd at a Delaware political breakfast meeting when she announced that she has changed her thinking about masturbation following a weekend bathtub "incident".
Spike Fromula, O'Donnell's press secretary, explained to the press gaggle today that O'Donnell now realizes that it is possible to "masturbate without lust in your heart" after Saturday night's revelatory event, which Fromula described as a "slip and fall episode".
"It wasn't exactly 'The Passion of the Showerhead'" said Fromula, in a reference to her former work as a marketing consultant to the Mel Gibson movie of a similar name, "but there is no doubt that her thinking on the issue has evolved".
It doesn't take a doctor to look around and see that our body politic is not healthy. We've been gorging on too much corporate cash, and special interest distortions. And while that looks really good on the surface, it is not giving us what we need to keep our body healthy and strong. So today, when there are primary elections in New Hampshire (not to mention DE, DC, MD, MN, NY, RI, VT, WI, and HI) I want to suggest a great cleanse: The Democracy Diet.
Last week, the Live Free or Die Alliance (LFDA) unveiled a massive warehouse of all-natural election information that is essential to consume regularly for a well-balanced perspective at the polls. The way it works is this: we already have all of that unnatural, over-processed stuff in our system, so add Election Central, the LFDA ingredient, and it will immediately start working to break down those compound masses of unhealthy vitriol - which are often cancerous to the body politic - into their more simple and benign elements. We immediately start to feel less anxious, and we can think more clearly. It improves our vision too.
It is not easy to farm good, nutritious information for the body politic. The good folks at the LFDA have been working all summer in the fields of knowledge to produce this harvest. They dug up every single candidate for public office in New Hampshire, washed off the dirt and smears, and posted what they found in the warm light of day.
What do they charge for this political super-food? Nothing. So c'mon and get some of the good stuff, and help our body politic to have a better self image, to stop hating itself, and shed some of the unnecessary weight it has been putting on.
Next, consider enrolling in regular De-spinning classes by joining the Live Free or Die Alliance, and by becoming part of the community on the Facebook Page.
